The runners up: the good, the bad, and the incomprehensible...

In no order whatsoever:

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MES: The whole lot of you are fired-uh! From now on-uh, it's just me and the little girl-uh on kazoo!
Little Girl: Does this mean we're dating?

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Mark; "I'm a Mummy!"
Girl; "I want my Mummy!"

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MES : Look love, you on keyboards, me with a bag on my head - the Fall straight to number one in the charts!
Kid: My Gran plays a mean set of Bongos....

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MES: how dare they call me 'curmudgeon'. Now bring on the babies to kiss! I put me teeth in - special like!
Kid: oh shit, I thought this was the S Club 7 show....

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MES: 20+ years in the business, 30 odd albums and still got all me own teeth! Does your Mam want an autograph?
Kid: I just wanna know where the toilets are.....

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MES: i think i've just broken me back. i hope these paparazzi are satisfied.
LITTLE GIRL: oh, i'm sure they are, and thank you so much for posing with me, mr. sting.

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MES: No, sweetheart, I haven't ever considered a collaboration with S Club 7.
Girl: So what'd the Tooth Fairy leave under your pillow for that one Mister?

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MES: Smile fer the camera ya little brat, or I'll break yer feckin' wrist.
Girl: You get your fuckin' hand off me, Grandad... or you'll be missing some MORE fuckin' teeth!

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Girl: My grandad what big teeth you got.
MES:Don`t be afraid they're not me own

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Mark e: good evening we are the fall...
Little girl:Hello children I'm the new fall drummer and mark and I say don't let mr plaque ruin your life......

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MES: Ain't she lovely? She designed our last LP cover!
Girl: Like, in two minutes.

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MES: We are the New Fall and you better have a look! (Tell 'em you're my Granny and you play the bongos)
Girl: I'm a bongo and I play with his Granny!

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MES: Shhh. I've told her I'm Liam Gallagher!
Girl: All your base are belong to us!

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MES: Yeah, so you’ll be in me band, right, and you’ll be like on drums, right? Like banging away, like, “bssh-bssh-bsssh” like banging away, like on bongos or summat, right? Like “bssh-bssh-bssh” like that, right...right?
Her: How much does it pay?

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Little girl: Hey mister, why are you holding on to my hand?
Mark E. Smith: Because I'm scared of the dentistah!

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MES: I had a monkey for breakfast, What did you have?
Girl: A deconstruction of modern man.

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MES: Darling, it is the considered opinion here that new dads are hill of crap and it's cruel to the kids. They should butt out and leave it to their respectives.
Little Girl: Don't call me, DARLING!

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Left bubble: Hey Dear, try a smile to be a pretty souvenir for your mom.
Right bubble: Smithie, soften your Manchester Bigmouth!

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Mark E: "Hey little girl, want to see my '2x4'?"
Little Girl: "Do you smell preparation h? Want to borrow my ear protection for your next spoken word performance? Let me go! I'm going to tell my mommy, Brix, on you!

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Mark: Well, Cindy-lou Who, shall we go grab us some Christmas Beast for dinner.
Little Girl: Oh, Mr Grinch, you're the best!

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Smith: "The young kids in my neighborhood listen to Fall records steal scraps of paper from my jacket pocket-uh they cannot hold their beer midget plagiarist allowance conspiracy!"
Kid: "Eat y'self fitter!"

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Marks bubble : Thanks love! It's just that I'm trying to change the image of The Fall as well as making them into a more arty wank type band what do you think?
Girl replies : Rough Trade!

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MES: 'Bicycle ain't working wired!'
Little Girl: 'You are not my uncle Mark'

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MES: Smile, Brixxy!
Little girl: OK who is this long streak of piss holding my hand?

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MES: Lick spittle southener
Little girl: SMILE !?!?!

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mark says: it will not give extra trouble to take care of public relations
little girl says: he's quite normal if you take in consideration he's a popstar

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Mark: Alright luv, d'ya know the way to the bogs - I'm fookin' bustin-ah!
DJ girl: Soz mate, don't play requests! Hey, do I know you? I think you were in my Dad's class in school

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Girl with headphones: "So Mark, what did you think of my production job and sleeve artwork for 'Are You Are Missing Winner'".
Mark: "Loved it. It made me SMILE!".

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mes says"when I wrote the bloody song, it wasn't an f-ing invitation to meet my ex-classmates f-ing brats..."
little girl says,"Mommy, this man stinks of lager..."

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MES: You can play guitar and sing?! Why your not from L.A. are you?
Little Girl: Mommy!

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MES: ...and what do yer wanna be when yer grow up?
GIRL ...a thacked Fall Modern Apprentith guitar player pweeze.

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mark says: cheeky monkey
little girl corrects him saying "cheeky monkeyuhh!"

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MES: "Leave the Capital!"
Kid: "If you don't start brushing your teeth, I most certainly will!"

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MES: "Who makes the nazis?"
Kid: "Isn't it you, Mr. Slugworth?"

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MES: "How 'bout a kiss?"
Kid: "Not on your life, you disgusting speed-drenched psycho!"

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MES: "Do like The Fall, little girl?"
Kid: "Actually, I'm more of a fan of Camus' non-fiction, in "The Rebel" he....etc., etc."

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MES: Keep up the piano lessons love, I'm on the lookout for a new keyboard player.
Girl: Naff off ya old perv.

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M.E.S.: "Absence of cash from Cog Sinister coffers induces Smith into illegal extraction-uh grrrr snarrrlll of gelt from the ceramic confines of yer porcine replica euru storage unit-uh!"
Little Lass: "Oh! Brother..."

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MES: "We are the new Fall."
Little Lass: "Who is this soggy old shite?"

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MES: "I bloddy well told you, I don't do requests!"
Gurl: "Go on, I'd love to hear you sing 'One more time' by Britney, it's just like 'Lost in Music' but a bit slower!"

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Little girl: "Hi Mark! Any chance of you performing Futures and Pasts in concert?"
MES: "Only if you buy me 2 pints and a concert shirt!"

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Mark: “NOW!”
The girl: “No, later.”

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girl says "so, what do you think of the show so far?"
ME Smith "Rubbish-AH"

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girl : don't call me darling !
mes : chi chi chi...

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Mark Says: "Take those headphones off darling, it's another years worth of records by The Fall!"
Girl says: "uh...WHAT?"

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Mark E: Do you know you are standing on my foot-urghh?
Brix E Junior: Is that the title of your next album, mister?

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mark says "sky calendar, bar, home, speculates..."
girl says "now I have seen the madness in my(underlined) area!"

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Mark says: " AAARRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggg!!!!!! Most people think i am unclean!!!
Girl says : Hey sir, don` t worry, thats just because they don` t know your new album yet.

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Girl: So glad to finally meet you Mark!
Mark: Oh, Brother!

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Mark says: And what do you want to be when you grow up?
and the little girl says: Thrown out of your band.

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MES: "Just a pair of ¥º˜˜*??°€?—/·°¯€?¸? wings!"
lil girlie: "HIS HIDEOUS REPLICA!!!!!"

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MES:"I believe there's a new drug out. It's called speed I wrote a song about it Conceptually a la Bowie. But it's been lost in the vaults of the record company By our manager "
Girl: "You Pep"

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MES: Hey little girl, fancy playing bongos in the The Fall
Girl: Mummy, mummy, I'm scared. He smells funny.

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Mark: Give these to Harry
Girl: I'm only six

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MES: Do you wanna come around when Brix goes out, Saffy?
Little girl: Alright then.

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Little girl: Twinkle Twinkle little star
MES: You copied that off The Fall, you did.

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Mark's balloon says- There's nothing new in Acid House for me, pal. I've been using that process for years. Bloody years. It might be new for you but don't assume it's new for anyone else, because you're fucking wrong, pal.
The little girl replies in her balloon- What the fuck are you talking about? Have you made an Acid House record?

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MES: "Hey there, fuckface!"
little girl: "Who are you?"

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MES: Ahhh Muzorewis daughterahhhhh.
GIRL: Are you Father Christmas?

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MES: "If it's me and your Granny on bongo's, it's still the Fall"
Little Girl: "Can I play?"

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MES: Why, she's no bigger than Brix!
Little Lass: Eat y'rself fitter El Bastardo.

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Mark E Smith is saying -: Ah young lady,so you want to be my new keyboard player eh ?
Young girl says -: Come on Mr Smith,give me a chance,I have only just started school,but who knows,probably one day !!

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MES: I don't know, what *do* space monkeys watch on TV?
KID: King Cone adverts!

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MES: Right, Gran, you're on bongos, first gig tonight, rehearsal at soundcheck
Gran: I know you - you're the Mum in Royle Family!

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MES:What d'you call a man with a spade in his head?
Girl: HighSmith Teeth.

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MES: I'm hard as ten bears, me.
Girl: I'm still not going to marry you.

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Girl: Recite a poem, quick, you'll make the cameraman drop his camera!
MES: No member of my band tells me what to do, you're sacked, etc.

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Girl (to cameraman): He's wearing a wig.
MES: No, I am not wearing a fuckin' wig.

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MES: Do you play drums? Can you make a gig in MCR tonight?
Girl: No, I've got to go to brownies.

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MES: Would you like to join The Fall, little girl?
GIRL: Yes! Let me grab my bongos.

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MES: So what do you think of the new album?
Girl: Not bad, did you like my cover artwork?

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Caption (no word balloons): Mark E. Smith (right) and little Patty Mills (left) who is currently the only living resident of Manchester not to have been an ex-member of the Fall.

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Mes: (doesn't say anything)
Little Girl: "Daddy I waaaaaaaaaaaant the Brittany album noooooooow!!!"

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one entry got a bit carried away...

MES: "Or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow yer house..."
Little Girl: "Gee Grandma what big teeth you have!"
Director (off camera): "Cut! Cut! Daisy, please don't improvise the script!"

Caption (no word balloons): At a press conference Mr. Smith introduced the new keyboard player for the Fall.

MES: "No Brix! I told you not to press that button on the time machine!!!"
(girl says nothing)

MES: That's a Christmas present from a very dear friend of mine.
Girl: Look, Daddy. Teacher says, every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.

MES: "Bagdad, Space Cog..."
Girl: "and a twit?"

Caption (no word balloons): London: The theatrical version will be starring Mr. Smith as Sulley, seen here with Boo.

Caption (no word balloons): "The band always suspected Mark's manager lacked some practical real world experience, but never said anything."

Caption (no word balloons): It was at that tragic moment that the parents of little Amy realized that they should stop telling her "that should could be anything when she grew up".

MES to camera: "Ah your just a white-collar middle-class fraud..."
Little Girl: "Daddy I think it's time to go..."

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MES: "...and if you play a solo, you get fined."
Girl: "We are the new Fall!"

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Mark; "I am Damo Suzuki."
Girl; 'No, you're a twat."

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Mark; "My ex-classmate's kid."
Girl; "City Hobgoblin."