Pete:

We've probably done this before, but I don't remember it if we have, so: which songs will the Fall be doing on the Perry Como Xmas Special this year?

• Do you Know What Yule Looks Like?
• Cracker Conspiracy
• Sleigh Goes Tilt
• The Man Whose Bread Sauce Expanded
• St Stephen Song

Someone must be able to do better than that.

Al:

Sleigh Goes Tilt? You should be ashamed of that one!

Anyway, MES in a nice red cardigan, slacks, maybe a scarve and a glass of sherry...

• Reindeermaster
• I'm Frankincense
• Crap Wrapping (my speciality) and the frankly pathetic...
• Christmiddlemass

Pete:

>> Sleigh Goes Tilt? You should be ashamed of that one!

Not at all! Check out the lyrics and you'll see that it's all about Santa telling off a naughty Elf who's stowed aboard the sleigh, thus exceeding the weight limit, throwing it off balance and endangering everyone on board:

"I am the one who gave you a chance in life
How could you try and end my life?

and then there's the chorus:
"Sit still!"

>> and the frankly pathetic... Christmiddlemass

Not as pathetic as:

• Eat Yourself Fatter
• Choc Stocking
• I Wake Up in the Chimney (sung by MES in heavily wrinkled Santa outfit)
• Crimble
• Pie, Cream in a Seasonal Bowl *cough*
• Plug My Elf In
• Brussel Sprouts and Roast Potatoes
• Put it Away
• Cary Grant's On the Telly
• The $5 Bottle of Cooking Sherry
• There's a Bloke in my House (excited MES woken by man in red coat. Who can it be?)

Al:

• Psychic Tinsel
• Mistletoe and a 500 dollar bottle of wine (dual cardigans duet with Cliff Richard)

Stefan:

• Reindeer Park
• Flat of Angels
• A Lot of Wine
• Dickens' Dream Debased
• Get a Rotel
• Gut of the Pie Stuffer
• Hit the North Pole
• Bremen Nacht Before Christmas
• Bad Gift Dispenser
• Rudolph (All the Time)
• He Pepto-bismol
• Spencer Must Diet
• Gift Box

sorry...

_________________

And here's a classic (1995 I think) post from the much missed Fallnetter Andrew John Richardson (a.k.a. Rick - R.I.P.)

Under MES' Tree this year...

I shall be sending MES the Fischer Price Fall stage set for toddlers (ages 2-4). It's great. What you get:

• Mandatory amps, mikes, loads of wire etc. The amps have extra size knobs for MES to twiddle and turn off. There is a built in electrocution feature too in the Curved Air set.
• One megaphone.
• One wipe-clean set list sheet
• 35 Brix plectra
• Mixing desk with built in bootleg facility.
• The band come in bendy mouldable plasticine.
• Beer bottles, glasses and pools of sweat/spilt beer for MES to grovel in.
• Lucy's shopping bag
• 200 cut-out Craigs

And Rich Kidd only charged me 320 dollars for the set. BUT when I got it home the MES figure was missing. I found him later crouched behind the sofa smoking a bennie and mumbling into a tape recorder. Thoroughly recommended - great crack for all the family

Also recommended: the Fall Happy Families card game. Contains 4378 cards. All you have to do is collect a set before the MES 'I sacked the band' card is revealed. Suits ages 2-70.

Also: The Fall 'Hot dinners' scruples game. Nuff said it's racy, it's mad it's sad it's a cracker

Rick